top of page

How to find real friends?



Let us begin with a story from the Bible shall we? Well, to put it bluntly Lord Jesus was deserted and denied by his chosen few disciples during the times that He faced the last chapter of His Life. Now, that makes you realize how extremely difficult it is to find genuine friends. Upon His death only Saint John was at the foot of the cross with Mother Mary.

Time is the key factor that determines a friendship. From my experience I was born into a big family and also a large extended family. That is a good beginning: your family is the best start of your adventure here on Earth. God is a good Planner. He gave you the family that will suit your mission on point. I have known them since birth, hence, the support and love that I need would suffice to carry out that mission.

My siblings know the stories of my epic failures and successes. And we laugh every time we reminisce about the good old days. Yes, there were sibling rivalries but they will always be there until my last breath. Indeed, blood is thicker than water. My family in one word is a team.

There is a saying that goes, “you become the five people you spend the most time with,” which I find interesting and quite true. However, you can divert toxic people from your life using psychological Tai Chi. It is like a white light that protects your body, mind, and soul. When your foundation is solid, nothing can break you. And if something monumental like the Notre Dame Cathedral fire happens, somehow miracles do happen. The cross, the crown of thorns, and the altar were all saved from the fire.

Having five thousand friends on Facebook is superfluous. In a scientific study a group of fifty is the breaking point of any group. More than that it will break apart into smaller groups. Again, we are discussing your own friendships because if we analyze a huge company we, of course, know that there are divisions and different departments. That is beside the point but somehow still illustrate the truth that you cannot give your time to a multitude of people.

So, time is an essential ingredient to make friendships last. How can we make it easy to make genuine friends?

Sincerity. My critical reader that is the secret as to why I have friends since grade school. In my twenties, in my thirties, and now, in my forties. My friendship cost nothing, no strings attached, and because I see a little bit of Jesus in them. In the final analysis, when He asks me what did you do to the least of your brethren? I can reply I showed them altruistic kindness that was inspired by your Agape.

Now, that was easy right? Basic things like good manners and right conduct. Seeing people and acknowledging that you saw them, in a country they have a particular gesture to show the other people that they do exist. Being mindful of the communion of Saints. We are in this thing together and we live in one big place we cannot leave that we call Mother Earth.

The self then the other in a community, in a village, in a country, here we cultivate Global Thinking. What happens in one minuscule island has an impact in the land down under.

You might be thinking now how come it got to be so gargantuan? Well, wake up my friend, the world does not revolve around you. Each person has a right to be here and to be friends with the rest of humanity even just thru spirit is akin to its precarious survival.

Let me end by the lyrics of a song written by Phil Collins:

She calls out to the man on the street, ‘Sir, can you help me? It’s cold and I’ve nowhere to sleep. Is there somewhere you can tell me?’ He walks on, doesn’t look back. He pretends he can’t hear her. Starts to whistle as he crosses the street. Seems embarrassed to be there.

Oh think twice, it’s another day for you and me in paradise. Oh think twice, ‘cause it’s just another day for you… You and me in paradise, think about it. She calls out to the man on the street. He can see she’s been crying. She’s got blisters on the soles of her feet. She can’t walk but she’s trying.

Oh think twice, ‘cause it’s another day for you and me in paradise. Oh think twice, it’s just another day for you… You and me in paradise, think about it. Oh Lord, is there nothing more anybody can do. Oh Lord, there must be something you can say.

You can tell from the lines on her face. You can see that she’s been there. Probably, been moved on from every place. ‘Cause she didn’t fit in there.

Oh think twice, ‘cause another day for you and me in paradise. Oh think twice, it’s just another day for you. You and me in paradise… just think about it, think about it.

It’s just another day for you and me in paradise.

When you step outside of your home, when you see other people, think about Jesus. Remember we were all made into His own Image and Likeness. See yourself in them and more importantly, see Jesus in them.

bottom of page