Book Series: SENIOR MOMENTS ARE FOREVER

11th Moment: Senior Citizens, Grammar and World Peace

Senior Citizens: Being a senior citizen has both advantages and disadvantages. In some places there are special days and time for free movie screening. But watch out when you visit the toilet for long lines of gentlemen doing their discharges in slow motions and most of the time in overtime! There are special coaches also in the trains. But you must deal with various smells of industrial and organic perfumes and scents including Katinko, White Flower, Efficacent Oil, Vicks VapoRub, Alaxan Plus, and other exotic products. ----------------------- The number one topic of senior citizens when they meet is OBITUARY. A good friend is one who attends a departed friend’s funeral even if he is sure that the departed can no longer attend to his. ----------------------- Communal Differences: What is the difference between a joke and a joker? A Joker is someone whom people loves to be with. A Joke is someone whom people loves to be without. What is the difference when someone tells you “you are Bobo!”, or “I heard someone called you a Bobo”? None, unless you are a politician. What is the difference between a funny guy and a guy who wants to be funny? In Filipino, NAKAKATAWA or NAGPAPATAWA? None, unless you are in showbiz. What is the difference between empathy and empty? Empathy means you can relate with others. Empty means others don’t want to relate with you. What is the difference when someone tells you that you look like a monkey, or the monkey looks like you? None, unless you have double crossed your girlfriend. ----------------------- The root word of charisma is CHARING! The meaning of CHARING is “just nothing”, in Filipino “WALA LANG”! ----------------------- English grammar: What is the past tense of Fare? PAID. What is the past tense of Pig? LECHON. What is the past tense of chicken? ADOBO. What is the past tense of single? MARRIED. What is the past tense of marriage? DIVORCED. BUT ENGLISH GRAMMAR TOLD US THAT NOUNS HAVE NO TENSE! ------------------------ A friend told me that someone who write anecdotes is called a HUMORIST. Others who give jokes are called JOKERS. I prefer to be called a humorist than a joker. As a Humorist you appear to be intellectual, as a Joker you look like a politician. ------------------------ Foot and jeans research: I am doing a research on how many of us men or women put in our right foot first when wearing our jeans. My hypothesis is that persons who put in their right foot first are highly intelligent, but they are not usually good looking. ------------------------- For Christians, if you want to pray, look for a place where you can be alone, close your eyes, put your hands-on top of your heart, and in the serenity of the moment recite the Lord’s Prayer. If you are sincere you will surely cry or even drown from the lines of the prayer. But if you feel nothing, forget about praying. Something is wrong with you, or somewhere. ----------------------- Everyone prays for world peace, but others want war to achieve it. Everybody wants to go to heaven, but nobody wants to go ahead. Many people want to look good, but they want to have it outside rather than inside. ----------------------- Humanity: During this period of fires, earthquakes, floods, plagues, typhoons, and all kinds of natural calamities all people must bear in mind that there is only one God, one creator, one human species that God has given this earth as a gift to enjoy. Let us not destroy it with self-interest, hypocrisy, and greed, either in economics or politics. ----------------------- I am doing a social experiment how waiters who serve me in coffee shops or restaurants will answer when I tell them to join me in the table. 3 out of 3 just answer with a sweet smile! ----------------------- I asked a friend working in a funeral parlor: What is the difference between a politician and a statesman? A politician uses the dead to win election. A statesman venerates the dead for redemption. ----------------------- Philippine freedom of expression, speech, press, and, public information is in open season. The various agencies from the private sector are ahead with the mainstream media’s television being the top influencer. Religious and government media agencies are far behind. Social media is on the rampage. Millennials are at a lost.