Book Series: SENIOR MOMENTS ARE FOREVER

August 22, 2020

38th Moment: Driver, Chicken and Binyagan

 

My Jamaican driver: When I was assigned in Jamaica, I was given an old driver named McCullough. As soon as he reported to me, he told me “You know Rowdy you are lucky.” I asked him why. He said, “You will not have a problem visiting villages because I know every nook and corner of Jamaica.”’ I asked again why. He told me he was a delivery truck driver of coca cola.


One day we were on field work and looking for a village. We on the road for almost an hour, yet we could not find the place. Finally, with the help of a local resident we found our objective. On our way back home, I asked him. “Mr. Mac, I remember you told me you know every nook and corner of Jamaica because you used to be a delivery truck driver of coca cola?” Without any sign of guilt he said, “Rowdy that was 25 years ago!”
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Home gardening: I think there is really an extreme necessity to offer gardening in elementary grades. Yesterday I decided to have a front yard pot garden. I bought flowerpots, vegetable seedlings and garden soil. When I came back home from office my daughter proudly exhibited me her gardening skill by showing me some pots where she planted the seedlings. The amazing thing is instead of loosening the soil with the seedlings she pounded it so hard with her hand! Her reason? She wanted to make sure that the seeds stay grounded! 
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THE ANIMAL FARM, local version: Sa bahay sa bukid ng isang magsasaka ay pinagsabihan ng amo ang 5 inahin na mangitlong ng 10 bawat isa kc meron syang handaan. Pagkalipas ng 10 araw ay hiningi ng magsasaka ang mga itlog. Lahat ng inahin ay nagbigay ng tig 10 maliban sa isa.


Magsasaka: bakit 3 lng ang itlog mo ang isa ay parang basag pa?


Inahin: pasensya na po Amo iyan lng nakaya ko.


Magsasaka: bakit anong nangyari? Bata ka pa naman at maganda?


Inahin: hindi di ko po alam kung bakit. 10 tandang na nga po ang inalayan ko ng beauty ko eh talagang tatlo lng na itlog ang lumabas, yong pangatlo ay di ko pa nakumpleto!
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Mga matalinong magaaral:


Teacher: Class kung isang kilong bigas ay mkakagawa ng 4 na kalderong lugaw magkano kikitain nyo?


Bambi: 40 pesos mam!


Sonny: 1,600 pesos mam! 


Kokoy: 160 pesos lng!


Nelie: Ang akin lng naman ay alamin muna natin kng magkano ang isang tasa ng lugaw.


Mas matalino si Lily: eh inalam nyo na ba kng magkano ang isang kilo ng bigas?


Sobrang matalino si Chita: anong klasi ng bigas yang pinag-uusapan nyo? NFA o Vietnam rice?


Meryenda na muna kau.
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Magasawang senior citizens nag-uusap:


Babae: ano ka ba naman mahal 65 na taon na tayong mag asawa kahit minsan di mo man lang ako sinasangayonan, lagi mo akong sinasalongat!


Lalake: 64 na taon pa lng mahal hindi 65.
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Sa office naman tayo. Na late sa office ang boss. Pagdating sinalubong sya ng mga employees.


Isang employee: Boss ang tagal naming nag hintay sau. Di kami mka pag trabaho ng wala ka.


Boss: yan ang sinasabi ko sa inyo, dapat wag kayong masyadong umasa akin. I am not indispensable, every one of you can do what I am doing. You must aspire to be a boss yourselves.


Employee: Boss di po ninyo iniwan ang susi sa computer mainframe room kaya di namin mabuksan.
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Sa binyagan naman tayo:


Pari: O, anong pangalan ng batang ito?


Nanay 1: Celpon po father


Pari: Serioso?


Nanay 1: hango po kasi sa pangalan naming mag asawa. Pangalan ko po Celia asawa ko Alponso kaya Celpon.


Pari: imaginative ha! O ito naman isa anong pangalan?


Nanay 2: Charger po father.


Pari: bakit naman naging Charger?


Nanay 2: hango din po sa pangalan naming mag-asawa, pangalan ko po Charito asawa ko po Roger kaya Charger.


Pari: hay naku, ma-lolobat ako sa inyo! O itong pangatlo, anong pangalan?


Nanay 3: Outlet po father.


Pari: AT BAKIT NAMAN?


Nanay 3: galing din po sa pangalan naming mag-asawa.


Pari: CGE COMPLETOHIN NYO NA AT MALAPIT NG MAG BROWNOUT!


Nanay 3: asawa ko po kasi auto mechanic ako naman po sa letsonan nagtatrabaho.


Pari: WOW AT LEAST NAIBA NAMAN!
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Chinese and Filipino entrepreneurship: The Chinese globalized the issue of coronavirus, then they manufacture face masks and face shields. But Filipinos are more entrepreneurial. We made a fashion sense of the Chinese products.
 

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