Book Series: SENIOR MOMENTS ARE FOREVER

August 28, 2020

39th MOMENT: Buntis, Man in Wheel Chair and Museums

 

--------------------------
Sa hospital nanganak ang isang babae sa loob ng elevator.
Nanay ng nanganak sa Nurse - Naku nurse pasensya ka na, biglaan kasi, Hindi na nka antay and anak ko na mka pasok sa delivery room.
Nurse: Ok lng po yon, noong isang taon nga meron ding buntis na nanganak doon pa sa gate ng hospital.
Nanay ng nanganak- Naku, ako po yon nurse!
--------------------------
Reklamo ng isang ginang na kahihiwalay lng sa asawa: 
“Ang sabi ng iba pag natagpuan mo ang lalaking para sau ay mararamdaman mo agad. Bakit ang lalaking hindi para sau ay paghihintayin ka ng isang taon bago mo malaman?”
--------------------------
Namatay ang isang paratrooper. Sa lamay may pumuntang mga kasamahan na may dalang parachute. 
Nanay ng patay: “Salamat sa pag dalaw nyo mga kaibigan ni Bambi. At salamat sa pagdala ng parachute para alala ng anak ko.”
Isa sa tropa, “Nay yan po ang parachute nya, nakalimutan po nyang isuot bago sya tumalon.”
--------------------------
Sa hospital:
Babae- Doc, ano pong resulta sa autopsy ng asawa ko?
Doctor- Tapos na po autopsy namin, malalaman natin result bukas.
Babae- Nalapatan din man lng po nyo ng anesthesia doc bago na autopsy?
Doctor- Hindi na po misis, naubosan po kasi kami ng supply.
--------------------------
Sa isang health clinic napunta ang isang pasyente nka wheelchair.
Pasyente sa clinic receptionist: Ma’am, magpapa physical checkup po ako. Andyan ba si Doctor?
Receptionist- Opo andyan meron lang pong pasyente. Maupo po muna kau!
--------------------------
Kahapon nag hanap ako ng car wash shop kasi yung shop malapit sa amin ay puno. Sabi sa akin ng anak ko meron daw isang malapit din sa amin. Tanong ko gaano kalapit, sabi sa akin “malapit lng Dad, puede mong lakarin, wag ka nang mag kotse!”
--------------------------
Sabi ng anak ko ang pinaka walang kwentang puntahan na sa tourist place ay ang antique museums at historical showrooms. Tanong ko kng bakit - ang sagot sa akin, “Kasi Dad wala ka namang makikitang mga bago doon!”
--------------------------
May napansin lng ako. Ang mga baro ng babae ay sa kaliwa ang butones ang sa lalake ay sa kanan. Tama ba ako?
--------------------------
There is a limit in human talent. Marcelito Pomoy, a champion Filipino singer can sing a duet using two voices of a male and a female. His masterpiece is “The Prayer” where he can even do a tenor. But there is one skill that he cannot do: sing two voices at the same time!
--------------------------
If you hate someone do you assume that s/he likes you?
--------------------------
I finished a two-year course in Auto Mechanic so when I became a manager, I often think of managing an organization or a project as similar to a driver driving a passenger bus. To deliver my passengers safely to their destinations I have to make sure that all the parts of the bus is in good condition - including the spare tire!
--------------------------
Governance is like managing a family. When the family grows big and the children have their own respective growing families it is unwise for the father and mother to continue dictating their children’s family affairs including their finances. The rational thing that must be done is give them the chance to be parents themselves, provide the general rules, guidance and security, otherwise the children will be always dependent to their parents. They will not learn to be responsible, innovative and at the end of the day will be rebellious and resort to blaming their parents. Family reunions are better celebrated among successful children and grandchildren. This is the fundamental basis for federalism resulting from a unitary system. 
--------------------------
Long term solution to poverty is economics - return to the fundamentals of village economy. Progressive countries have strong communities or started from rural development. Right now, poverty is addressed only through short-term programs, projects activities, or piece meal transfer payment scheme and social welfare assistance. The national structural strategy is through a commission, community development has long been deprioritized at the DILG (before DLGCD). Not a single candidate for national or local posts are advocating comprehensive rural development, community enterprise development as an economic policy. The most are sectoral approach never area-based #forevermore.
--------------------------
Man destroys forests in order to build cities then he plant trees again in the cities then cut them again to build more buildings and roads and bridges only to destroy more trees to build homes that will plant trees again in their yards then governments will ask to plant more trees to replace what were cut and then and then omg! 
--------------------------
According to a study male who flash the urinal even before finishing urinating are extremely intelligent.
--------------------------
 

Share on Facebook
Share on Twitter
Please reload