Book Series: SENIOR MOMENTS ARE FOREVER

September 18, 2020

42nd Moment: Women in Court, Bare Hospitals, Riding in Carabaos

 

 

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Court hearing on a marriage annulment case:
Judge to woman complainant: Why are you filing for annulment?
Woman: Because I am tired with what my husband have been calling me every time we go to bed.
Judge: Why, what does your husband call you every time you go to bed?
Woman: My husband always call me Kathryn.
Judge: What’s wrong with that?
Woman: Your honor my name is Liza.
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I read somewhere: 
“inside every old woman is a young lady wondering what the hell happened?” 
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Ernie Verdadero, the media Guru and budding photojournalist has a musical description of lousy hospitals: when asked what happen to the patients his answer is “they just lie there, and they die there”.
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A friend has an advice on becoming handsome without even trying. “Just be with someone uglier than you are always”.
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Reality in life: 
Whether you are a poor boy riding a carabao in the barrio, or a rich guy driving a Lamborghini or a Harley Davidson in the city, you still must decide where you want to go.
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Chicken the great: 
Ang pinaka mabait at loyal na hayop sa mundo ay ang manok. Buong buhay nya ay nilaan para sa tao. Nag bibigay ng itlog, nilaan ang sarili para gawin nating adobo, tinola, fried at kng ano ano pang pagkain ng karne nila, at nagbibigay ng kasiyahan sa sabong. Wag lang natin tingnan ang puwet nila at tyak mkakatikim ka ng mura!
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Usapang baboy naman tayo:
Tinanong ng mga biik ang nanay nila, “Nay sino ba ang tatay namin?”
Sagot ng inahin, “Di ko kilala mga anak kasi minsan lng kami nagtagpo ng lalaking yon tinuloyan na.”
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Dalawang mag kumpare narinig na naguusap:
Kumpare 1: Believe ako sau pare, sarap ng tawag mo kay kumare, Sweetheart.
Kumpare 2: Problema lng Pare di ko na maalala ang pangalan ng kumare mo sa tagal ng panahon na katatawag ko sa kanya ng sweetheart.
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Parents on children growing up: 
When parents dictate what kind of life they want for their children it is because of their fear of the unknown. They are afraid that their children might grow up like them. This kind of parents are cowards, and they want their children to be cowards too. That’s why children who are rebellious and who have undergone hardships on their own become risk takers, brave and relatively more successful. 
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I have been looking for 3 items in malls:
1. A signage to be placed in fire exit windows that read IN CASE OF FIRE YOU CAN STILL USE THE DOORS!
2. An ordinary jacket that can be converted into a life jacket during floods - powered by water
3. A toy dragon that even if left outside during rains can it run inside the house on its own so there will be no need for parents to soak in the rain just to rekindle their feelings (from a commercial).
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I arrived late for breakfast this morning. My daughter asked why, I said I did an Ethan Hunt chasing cars with my motorbike in the city. “Wow! Mission Impossible!” Said my eldest. “That’s impossible!” said my youngest. How can you enjoy being an action star if your kids don’t believe in your script?
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The effect of TV commercials is in the rural areas where people sell their native chickens in order to eat chicken at MCDO, JOLIBEE or MANG INASAL.
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Solution for erring husbands: 
My daughter has a quick solution to quarreling couples. One time one of their cousins came to complain that he is barred from entering their house by his wife. 
Sabi ng anak ko- “kung ayaw kang papasukin sa bahay nyo ay di wag mo rin siyang palabasin, saradohin mo ang pinto sa labas!”
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Coffee table talk: 
1st Cup- Nang pinalayas si Cain sa paraiso matapos nyang patayin ang kapatid nyang si Abel ay napunta sya sa lugar tawag ay Nod. Tanong: Anong nangyari sa kanya doon?
2nd Cup- Nang mag delubyo naubos ang tao sa mundo maliban daw kina Noah, asawa nya at 3 anak na lalake. Tanong: Papano ng simula ulit ang pagdami ng tao?
1st Cup - Coffee na lang tayo.
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Economic paradox: 
No country in the world under a free market system has ever progressed without strong communities. Strong communities are built by economically empowered and entrepreneurial people. But to put up enterprises people need not only business skill but most importantly Capital. Unfortunately, capital is owned and managed by banks and their intermediaries under one and only financing principle: Capacity to Pay.
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