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WICKED WINKS: Elvis the Goliath Impending Rematch with David

Election for local officials is still a year from now, but the same old trapos (losers and winners)—those coming from old families that perennially control the province since the dawn of political dynasty—are sounding off again their forthcoming candidacies. Elvis, the octogenarian patriarch of the “Voltes V” family (the popular Japanese anime in the late 70’s with the letter “V” symbolizing their family name) his son, Jr. and grandson who take turns in running the province of Cam Sur for almost three decades now are on the forefront again. They intend to completely dominate it by running in three different, but significant positions once more. For thirteen years they are at odds and feuding intensely, so it seemed—Elvis on one side, and his son, Jr and grandson on the other side of political spectrum. This was the enduring drama—the talk of the town, equal only to the best of primetime Koreanovela. Suddenly, the bickering and animosities between them as played to the tilt by the gullible media, ended in a climatic reconciliation purposely to give way to Elvis’ maudlin appeal to his family for a “last hurrah”. Today, they are one happy family again, halleluiah! Indeed, it will be either the victorious Elvis, or the vanquished one who will surface after the election. What is certain though is; Elvis will be 84 yrs old come election time and rockin’ and rollin’ in the days to come after that is a tough nut to crack even with all the magic pills on earth. Their genuine smiling faces as printed in the tarpaulins to openly proclaim their genial reconciliation and indelible unity are only overshadowed by the geriatric Elvis’ unique curvaceous hairdo reminiscent of the real “King of Rock ‘n Roll” in the old Las Vegas. They are expected to run together under one political party, whichever is convenient to them—setting aside party ideology when personal ambitions and interests are at stake—a customary move the “Voltes V” family is known for. They strongly believe that together in solidarity they are invincible and indestructible like the robots in “Voltes V”. However, for obvious lack of number (they are only three as opposed to the real “Voltes V” composed of five members), it is most appropriate, therefore, to call Elvis’ family the “Voltes III”. Elvis wants to take revenge desperately. He wants to exit the political arena as winner, and he wants “David” (the teenage son of Jesse in the story of David and Goliath) who routed and slew him—the mighty Goliath—in the last election, finally trampled and crushed. This time, he promised to parade the potent and allpowerful weapon—the “Voltes III”, with all their lethal guns and mammoth cannons aimed toward the destruction of the now fortified temple of David. It will be an all-out war that no one has ever witnessed before, Elvis claims. But, the story of David and Goliath as written in the Bible, was concluded in the slaughter of Goliath—his head cut off by David and never at anytime did he resurrect to fight another day. David, the gentle and oratorical champion of the 17th Congress, today has become a formidable foe to anyone who is aspiring to replace him. Like King Arthur’s sword— Excalibur, David’s weapon of sling and a pouch full of stone remains magical. No amount of sword and spear of a “resurrected Goliath”, clothed with coat weighing five thousand shekels of brass standing side-by-side with his ancillary army of “Voltes III” can change what is depicted in the hollowed tale. “Who is this uncircumcised Philistine that he should defy the armies of God?” David cried out loud upon seeing Goliath in the battlefield.

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