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37th Moment: Military assignments, Senior citizen strategy, Kumare and Kumpare

Military assignments - The military detachment was leaving the area for another assignment. Parents of some maidens who were impregnated by some of the soldiers approached the parish priest to intervene for their daughters. The priest asked for a meeting with the military commander. The commander reasoned out, “But father isn’t it that God commanded man to go and multiply?” The priest said, “Yes General, but God did not say multiply then go!” ------------------------ Senior citizen strategy: Two senior citizens were bragging about their skill with women in a snack bar. As proof of their bravado they called for a pretty waitress – (Listen young guys might learn something): SC 1-Miss, can I have a cup of pure cappuccino? And please give me your number so I can call you if I cannot sleep? - The waitress gave him her number. SC 2- Miss, I am giving out food supplies, where can I see you? - The waitress showed him her ID. ------------------------ Ex-convict boyfriend - A girl introduced her boyfriend who had a jail record to her mother. The mother cried hearing of her daughter having an ex-convict as a boyfriend. “But mom, he is good, he got a pardon on good behavior,” Said the Girl. The mother stopped crying. ------------------------ Dalawang mag kumare nag-uusap: Kumare 1- alam mo mare hatinggabi na naman wala pa ang kumpare mo. Siguro may babae talaga yan. Kumare 2 - sobra ka naman nega mag-icip mare. Baka na aksidente lang si pare! ------------------------ Dalawang mag kumpare naguusap habang nag-iinuman. Kumpare 1- alam mo pare nag-away kami ni mare mo. Kumpare 2- bakit pare? Di ba birthday ni mare kahapon? Kumpare 1- yon nga pare niregalohan ko nga eh. Kumpare 2- o eh bakit nagalit? Anong niregalo mo? Kumpare 1- St. Peter life plan Pare. ------------------------ Dalawang mag kumare sa hospital: Kumare 1-”Mare bakit ang tagal mo? Grabe tama ni Pare sa aksidente.” Kumare 2- “Sorry Mare ng tumawag ka kasi ay nasa mall ako, may sale kaya di agad ako maka alis-alis. Anong sabi ng doctor?” Kumare 1- “Ayan baldado na daw si Pare, 24 hours mo na syang dapat bantayan habang buhay.” Kumare 2- “Ha! Pano na ako nito?” Kumare 1- “Joke lng Mare, patay na si Pare. Anong mga nabili mo? Tingnan ko nga?” ------------------------ Most teachers remember only two of their elementary pupils: the notoriously bright and the notoriously naughty! ------------------------ Elements of poverty - There are two elements of poverty: material and psychological. Material refers to income, psychological refers to why they cannot have income. The government and most service providers only attend to the provision of the first element because it is quantifiable. The second element is qualitative, it is about the system of delivery that they do not want to alter or change. On the first element there is money, on the second there is not a penny. Here lies the big old problem. ------------------------ Bureaucracy is the same whether in a democratic form of government or dictatorship. The cabinets are always composed of secretaries. ------------------------ Busines management training: While conducting trainings on practical business forecasting and pricing techniques on rural and Community entrepreneurship, I still continue to conclude and confirm my findings on mini or informal business operators in the rural areas are the same: they are benevolent, and this benevolence is being exploited by society. They don’t want to put the value of their labor in the business cost. They have little interest on profit making. They think that labor cost and profit are the same. They do not understand division of labor. Their concept of market is stagnant, dependent only on seasons. They don’t have the concept of depreciation, rental of other assets especially if they owned them. Their concept of capital is only money and loan. No graduation from livelihood to enterprise! ------------------------ A job applicant was asked by the HR interviewer, “what can you contribute to this company?”

Job applicant- “Ma’am, how much is required? Is it every 15 days or every end of the month?” ------------------------ Terrorism as a fashion - After almost 25 years of working with marginalized and vulnerable groups in 14 different countries from Asia, South Asia, South Pacific, Caribbean, Africa, including Philippines I can say that the very romantic battle cry of WAR AGAINST POVERTY is not being won. Development workers are facing formidable and well entrenched enemies with all the political and economic powers in their command. Community development workers are just left with very little resources except their personal commitments. Conclusion: Social unrest, belligerency, rebellion and the worst form in terrorism will not fade away. Like fashion it will keep on coming back- only in different shapes, colors and sounds.

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